By Katherine Tarbox, Senior Editor, REALTOR® Magazine
As the founder and director of
Harvard’s International Negotiation Initiative, Daniel Shapiro has had his hand in numerous discussions between dignitaries, terrorists, lawyers, business leaders, and even real estate practitioners. Shapiro, a trained psychologist, has embarked on a new field of study in trying to understand emotions as they pertain to negotiating. As a world-renowned academic, he travels across the globe teaching his ideas. Yesterday, he presented “Capturing the Power of Negotiation” at Northwestern University.
Shapiro argues that there are hundreds of emotions, and it’s often difficult to focus in on one when trying to come to a resolution. Instead, he believes one should focus on five core concerns: appreciation, autonomy, affiliation, status, and role.
The most important of these concerns is appreciation, and Shapiro believes that the tone of the negotiation is set within the first 30 to 60 seconds of the meeting. Before you sit down with the person you’re negotiating with, you should:
1. Fully understand the other person’s perspective.
2. Find merit in what they think.
3. Communicate your understanding to them.
Shaprio argues that appreciation is a powerful tool to set a positive tone for the meeting, and also helps you navigate the waters between getting what you want out of the deal while maintaining a relationship with the person.
Want to find out more? In November, Shapiro will present his studies first-hand at the 2009 REALTORS Conference & Expo in San Diego, and you can read more about his findings in the October issue of REALTOR® magazine. Also, Denver Nuggets General Manager Mark Warkentien recently attended Shapiro’s week-long course at Harvard Law School, and he shares his take-aways in the latest Sports Illustrated.